This piece was dreamed up and written with lycaenion, when she realised one of her Agents, Teek Virtanen, had gone slightly (read: very) off the rails in her current partnership, with the Cardassian Crelmos. Fearing for Teek's potential character development, which was fading and dying rapidly, Lychee cast around for someone who could give the little madam a much-needed kick up the rear end and treat her like a proper person at the same time. I volunteered one of my Agents, Kayla Richards by name, and the result was this interlude.

Disclaimers: As ever, the PPC belongs to Jay and Acacia (may they kick Sue butt forever). The Floating Hyacinth belongs to the PPC community. Our Agents, Teek, Crelmos and Kayla, are our property, although the world of Star Trek, where Crelmos comes from, belongs to the late Gene Roddenberry and Paramount. The inevitable Douglas Adams references are, of course, the property of the late Douglas Adams; The Golden Compass (aka Northern Lights, in the interests of Britpicking), Crebaina's native 'verse, is property of the quite alive Philip Pullman. Osbert and the Raiders are the creations of KGarrett, and are mentioned here with his permission. The ypurs are the brainchildren of insanegrrl, and the General Store is the property of Leto Haven.


This piece is set January 2010. Many thanks to signed_up and lady_rilwen for betaing.

( 'Well, hi there. You'd be the new transfer, then?' )

Ooooh, I haven't done one of these in aaaages!

Ganked from lycaenion.

Step 1: Put your mp3 player on random.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 20 songs that play.
Step 3: Post and let everyone you know guess what song and artist the lines come from.
Step 4: Strike out the songs when someone guesses correctly.
Step 5: Looking them up on Google or any other search engine is CHEATING!

1. Buddy you're a boy make a big noise

2. It always seemed that I was sorry for the things that I did

3. Shadowland, the leaves have fallen

4. You took a mystery and made me want it

5. Hear me now, o thou bleak and unbearable world

6. Hey baby, you really got my tail in a spin

7. One day when I came home at lunchtime I heard a funny noise

8. I call you, I need you, my heart's on fire

9. When the world leaves you feeling blue

10. Tonight I'm gonna have myself a real good time

11. Under a lovers' sky, gonna be with you

12. See the devil on the doorstep now, my oh my

13. Baby look at me, and tell me what you see

14. I can see what's happening, and they don't have a clue

15. Long, long time ago, I can still remember

16. Why this car is automatic, systematic... hydromatic...

17. Super Trooper Beams are gonna blind me

18. Don't stop movin' to the funky funky beat

19. I'm goin' out tonight, feelin' all right

20. She's into superstition, black cats and voodoo dolls

*steals from lily_winterwood*

If you had me alone, locked up in your house for twenty-four hours and I had to do whatever you wanted me to, what would you have me do?

All comments will be permanently screened because it's a secret. Then repost this in your LJ. You might be surprised with the responses you get. Feel free to answer anonymously if you'd prefer.

Okay, I got awesome news for Christmas Eve. =D

A few days ago I was asked to go and audition for a radio play that's been worked on by a local Muslim youth group, regarding the dangers of extremism. The play's going out on national radio.

AND I JUST GOT THE NEWS TODAY I GOT A PART!

Recording starts at the end of January! *squee*

ETA: Pads, 'Selaface... the parcel has arrived but I'm not opening it till tomorrow, but it got here safely, 'kay? :D

Cross-posted to the PPC Board.

lycaenion and I discovered a particularly godawful pair of LOTR fics a few months ago, starring a rather obnoxiously overpowered Sue named Talana Tathdel, and decided to spork them. The first is being given the mission treatment, and may not be released for a while yet, depending on how we progress.

The second, however, we decided to MST instead, and just finished with. Therefore, as a slightly early Generic December Holiday present to all lovers of LOTR and sporkers of fanfiction, we're publishing it for you to (hopefully) get a few giggles out of.

And, to be completely honest, to stop ourselves from gutting it any further.

As an advertisement/warning/both, Here There Be Excessive Amounts of Gutter Humour, And Monty Python Jokes Aplenty.

Enjoy.

The Elven Captive: Slave of the Two Towers

My current top ten...

( Assorted nerdishness ahoy. )

...and my childhood top ten, set at when I was ten.

( Jeez, it's embarrassing to remember some of these... )

Our second mission with Cara and Miriam, Agents of the PPC, has finally arrived.

Disclaimer: The PPC belongs to Jay and Acacia. We are not them, but we do have permission to write in their world. The Lord of the Rings and other associated works, and all characters therein, belong to J.R.R. Tolkien. Bleach, and the character Ichigo Kurosaki, belong to Tite Kubo. Redwall belongs to Brian Jacques, though Kyran has never appeared in one of his books. Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer. All named Agents belong to us, and thus may not be used without our permission (we probably will give permission provided we're allowed to make sure you keep them in character, but you still need to ask). The fic up for killing, Ten, is owned by Colonel UnderRoo, and we don't want it. Here is the link: Ten. A big thank you to Pads, Rilwen Shadowflame, and Neshomeh for betaing this mission. Fic excerpts are in bold.

This mission is set right at the beginning of September.

Warnings: There is some violence due to the nature of the PPC, but nothing very graphic.


This mission is dedicated to Jerred Guillen, a good friend who died on the twenty-sixth of September. Rest in peace, man; we'll miss you. - KG, Spud, and Pigeon Army


( Here we go again... )

Cara Fielding and Miriam Collins will return in: Vainglorious Suethors

Wheee, twenty hours and counting till I invade the sanctity of the Dwelling Of Pads And 'Selaface...

Hm. Maybe I should try getting that whole "packing" thing done.

Things to do before I go:

- Patch ripped jeans
- Pack clothes and other necessities
- Locate and pack camera, with extra batteries if need be
- Ditto paracetamol
- Choose book(s) for six-hour journey (Seriously, I've been on family trips where we can get to the other end of the country quicker, never mind the other side)
- Get staff to give me wake-up call so I don't miss the coach
- Maybe get some sleep

OMGOMGOMG.

After a fortnight or arguing with various computer sites/the bank/computer sites for the bank, I have finally managed to order, book and print off the tickets providing me with transport to the residence in which Pads and Ansela currently reside.

I get to spend Hallowe'en weekend with 'em. :D Oh, my liver is going to be complaining... it'll be so worth it though. XD

*squee*

Grr. Rant. Grumble. Expletives in copious number.

( Ranting, with some swearing. )

My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
cassie5squared goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as Elphaba.
agentsara gives you 12 red-orange cola-flavoured wafers.
agenttrojie gives you 11 blue orange-flavoured gummy bats.
chelonianmobile gives you 14 purple cherry-flavoured pieces of taffy.
cofmanynames gives you 10 brown passionfruit-flavoured nuggets.
lady_rilwen tricks you! You get a 3.5-inch floppy disc.
lycaenion gives you 13 mauve raspberry-flavoured pieces of taffy.
oozaru_angel gives you 17 red raspberry-flavoured gumdrops.
sedri gives you 15 milky white lemon-flavoured gummy bats.
signed_up tricks you! You get a dead frog.
tea_fiend gives you 3 light orange coffee-flavoured jawbreakers.
cassie5squared ends up with 95 pieces of candy, a 3.5-inch floppy disc, and a dead frog.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

ETA: Whoops. Totally forgot to say I ganked this from oozaru_angel . *headdesk* Sorry, OA.

If there is one person or more on your friends list who makes your world a better place just because they exist and who you would not have met (in real life or not) without the internet, then post this same sentence in your journal.

Also:

Lychee, Rils... <3 the head-Collective. After last night, you guys are stars. *hugs*

I spotted a fun-looking game way back on my flist while reading it over, specifically on Trojie's journal, involving what goes on in her and Pads's heads. And wanted to try it myself, after I managed to pick myself up off the floor and stop laughing.

So, without further ado...

( An evening in Cassie's brain )

So, for all intents and purposes I vanished from teh intarwebz for a month. o.O This is Not Good.

And due to the fact that the internet/mobile broadband/whatever they call themselves company decided that I was committing fraud and cancelled my contract despite my repeated pleading with them that I was who I said I was and constant atempts to fax them the documents to prove it. Thanks a kriffing lot, dudes.

However, have been given a pay as you go dongle (USB thingy that gives you internet access, for those not in the know) by a very, very nice neighbour who refused to accept any money from me for it.

In less good news...

( Some people are sick )

Other than that, I'm just glad to be back online. If it wasn't for you guys, I'd have snapped a dozen times over this past year. So just... thanks, to all of you. Even those I don't talk to much, because you're still among mah people an' I loves ya. *hugs for all*

(And yes, I do intend to put up the Gathering report at some point very soon. Watch this space.)

Dear Mister Builder Person, a few minor points:

No, this wasn't my idea. I was fine with the flat the way it is. However, I must bow to my landlord's legal requirements and let you get on with it. I know that.

I also know you're not going to get all the painting and decorating done in a day. I've done that sort of thing before. I accept that while you're working I need to be out from underfoot, so I take refuge in the communal area.

But would it really be so, so hard to shift the stuff back at the end of the day so I can at least get to my bed? This thing called sleep, I need it.

I haven't slept since Monday night.

I WOULD LIKE MY BED BACK TONIGHT KTHANXBAI.

/end rant.

Urgh. Urgh. Urgh.

Getting a few bottles of drink in to celebrate one's twenty-first birthday? Seemed like a great idea at the time. Get a bit tipsy, natter with my mates online, and enjoy feeling better than normal.

This scenario, however, depended on my actually measuring the amount of booze going into the drink. Which I neglected in favour of just sloshing it in and thinking "eh, that looks all right".

Note to self: this method leads to getting lost on your way to the bathroom not ten feet away and barely getting there in time to throw up, followed by stumbling back into the bedroom and literally falling onto the bed to sleep.

I remember listening to music and chatting to several people. However, did not recall what was said until this morning. Thank you very much, julyflame, for showing me that I lose my ability to type a coherent sentence when rat-arsed.

And, um... lycaenion, cofmanynames, and anyone else I spoke to last night, please reassure me I didn't say anything offensive? If I did, I apologise profusely.

Hangover remedies, please. Water and painkillers only help so far... *curls up and groans*

Ganked from Lily Winterwood.

Pick eight random friends you interact with a lot. (You're number four.)

agentsara, agenttrojie, anselajonla,
cassie5squared, chelonianmobile, lady_rilwen, platinumyo and tea_fiend

These people you just picked are stuck in a house with you for a whole year. There is no leaving the house at all until the year is completely up. If you had to choose a person for every question below, write down which person it would be.

( Welcome to the insanity... )

Due to certain innate problems LJ has with doing anything halfway helpful when I'm posting long missions that have been written in Gdocs, I have given up arguing with the site and am simply posting a link to the document in question.

Suebusters : a (hopeful) return to the grassroots of the PPC.

Comments back here once you're done would be very much appreciated.

Stolen from ansela_jonla.



But... but... I didn't...

Disclaimers

- The PPC, the Department of Bad Slash, and Lux do not belong to me; they are the inventions of Jay and Acacia. And I wouldn't want to own Lux anyway. *shudder*

- This hideous travesty fic doesn’t belong to me either. It belongs to darkladyd, and may be found here: http://lotr.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=37906.

- Lord of the Rings and all characters therein belong to the great J. R. R. Tolkien.

- Pads and Trojie belong to tea_fiend and agenttrojie.

- Sandra and SAVM belong to signed_up.

- Stormsong was created by mahksihed and is mentioned here by permission of chelonianmobile.

- The idea of edible punctuation was first introduced to me by cofmanynames.

- I own Dana and Tarian, who are likely to be complaining about this fic for weeks, and the Mini-Balrog Adoptions Agency (by permission of Miss Cam).

Warnings

- The fic itself is NC-17; I’ve done my best to strip out the actual smut, but to be on the safe side this mission is labelled NSFW.

- Some mild language, but no more violence than the average Bad Slash mission.

Author’s notes

- So, I decided to try my hand at Bad Slash. Unsure of where to look for a sporkable fic, I decided to poke at the Unclaimed Badfic list on the PPC Wiki, and came across this… thing. Upon reading it (and going “WTF?!” several times), I decided to claim it for my Slash Agents. Rather proud of this decision, I showed the link to Pads and explained the basic plot (ha!) to Trojie. The reactions were, respectively, “that fic is truly atrocious” and “it sounds so brain breaky I certainly wouldn't touch it unless someone asked me nicely”. So, on receiving that kind of response from the two veteran Slashers… *gulp* Basically, I tried my best.

- This mission is set in late April 2009. By this point Dana and Tarian have been working together for about eight months.

- As ever, thank you, thank you, thank you to tea_fiend, my beta-reader, who did this in under two hours despite being crazily busy.


( Personnel need to start rethinking where they place people. )